2013 was a hell of a year. In terms of movies, it was all over the place. The big blockbusters were hit and miss, the less-hyped films had the best quality. I'm tempted to just leave it at that, forget about 2013 and move on to 2014. We're already nine days into it. But I guess I just need the closure from last year if I really want to move forward. Because for all the trash that 2013 had to offer, there were some gems. And if Hollywood pays more attention to these gems than the trash, then these next two years should be spectacular. Considering what's been announced, I expect great things. With that said, this rant is actually composed of a couple lists. The first ranks all the films I've seen in 2013 from worst to best, along with a short list of films I didn't get a chance to see. The next list goes over the films from 2014 I want to see, and others that look interesting. It's a lot, I know, but I'll try not to make it too long. Here's to a great new year ahead.
26. A Good Day to Die Hard- The fifth "Die Hard" film feels more like a generic action movie, sacrificing the character-based thrills of the last four films in favor of a spy-thriller starring John McClane's son. One of the greatest action movie icons deserved better.
25. 21 & Over- There is literally nothing to distinguish this film from any other coming-of-age raunchy college comedy. Do yourself a favor and pop in "Animal House" instead.
24. Identity Thief- Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman have great chemistry together, but the jokes are subpar and the premise a tad too unrealistic. Who gives their credit card info over the phone to a random stranger?
23. Dark Skies- What started as a tense psychological thriller quickly turned into a hapless UFO horror film, feeling more like a rejected "X-Files" episode.
22. Machete Kills- Yes, it's supposed to have a "so bad it's good" vibe, like its admittedly hilarious predecessor, but this one goes a little too far, and seems more concerned setting up a sequel than being its own thing. I found the move to sci-fi in the last half too bizarre a tonal shift to buy into this.
21. G.I. Joe: Retaliation- This one got Cobra Commander right! And it has ninjas fighting on the side of a mountain! And...that's pretty much all I can praise about this. An improvement over its predecessor, but not by much.
20. Oblivion- I give this film props for Tom Cruise's performance, the vivid production design, and a decent plot twist. I just wish it was more original with its story.
19. The Evil Dead- What could have been another pointless horror remake was actually a nice love letter to the cult classic, filled with plenty of blood and gore to satisfy "Evil Dead" fans. I just can't get over the severe lack of Bruce Campbell.
18. Olympus Has Fallen- Ironically, this film was more "Die Hard" than the actual "Die Hard" we got, a nice homage to the brainless action films of the '80s. It's unrealistic, yes, but great fun anyways. However, it doesn't stay with you like the best of them, hence why it's so low here.
17. Now You See Me- It had a clever, magic-themed heist plot, yes. And its cast was to die for. It just left too much to coincidence to really hold up for me. Still, meshing the cast of "Zombieland," "The Dark Knight" and "Avengers" together has to count for something.
16. Elysium- The action scenes were amazing, and Shartlo Copey's Kreuger character was a delight. Too bad I was expecting something a little more thought-provoking from the "District 9" director. So much wasted potential, this.
15. Warm Bodies- I thought this would be terrible, but it turned out to be one of the smartest takes on the zombie genre I've ever seen. Who would have thought to focus on a zombie apocalypse from the zombie's perspective? Thrilling stuff, plus funny and romantic when the need arises.
14. We're The Millers- It's raunchy comedy at its finest, but the four hapless strangers forming a surrogate family plot anchored the proceedings. This had some gut-busting moments, so I thought it was worth it.
13. Kick-Ass 2- A worthy sequel to its predecessor and a decent adaptation of the comic. Jim Carrey shines, and the parallels between Kick-Ass, Hit-Girl and the Mother Fucker's arcs were clever. But despite its enjoyment, it never hits the charm and biting satire of the first film.
12. Thor: The Dark World- I applaud this latest entry in the MCU for creating a more lived-in Asgard, focusing on the Thor-Loki relationship, and confirming some big things for this world's future (Infinity Gauntlet!) But more hokey, Earth-bound comedy and a wasted villain were definite drawbacks. Still a lot of fun though, especially the portal-hopping finale and a cameo from a certain Avenger.
11. The Wolverine- Sixth time out, and Hugh Jackman finally does the iconic mutant justice on the silver screen. This was what the first film should have been, and a Japanese noir setting makes this the most grounded, personal "X-Men" film yet. The cartoonish Silver Samurai finale limits it some, but all is forgiven come the end-credits scene.
10. Star Trek Into Darkness- Yes, it's a Wrath of Kahn remake. So what? It may pay homage to its roots a little too much come the climax, but this is still an exciting, adrenaline-fueled entry in the new "Star Trek" canon. You proved yourself on the Enterprise, Abrams. Now show me what you got for the Falcon.
9. Iron Man 3- I will still defend this film's brilliant, post-modern, extremely meta take on the Mandarin, even if others hate it. For all the changes to the comic mythology, this was a fun, character-centric outing for Tony Stark that outdoes "Iron Man 2" in every way.
8. Man of Steel- Similarly, I'm completely fine with most of the complaints leveled at this film. Death by Tornado, Zod's neck snap and Metropolis destruction included. I just think the pluses outweigh the minuses with this film, since it delivers a new take on Supes's iconic mythos that honors his roots while giving him a much needed "paint job", so to speak. Bring on Batfleck!
7. Monsters University- I wanted to scoff at a prequel to such a beloved film like "Monster's Inc.", but the college setting was too good to resist. Personally, it's not up to Pixar's best, but this is still an excellent addition to the canon and delivers a thrilling new dynamic to the Mike-Sully friendship.
6. This Is The End- Six actors make fun of themselves as they try to outwit a crazed Emma Watson, a possessed Jonah Hill, the Rapture and a giant Satan with a lava cock. There were so many actor cameos, so much meta humor, and such an insane amount of fun that I couldn't help falling in love with this film.
5. The World's End- If we're talking apocalyptic comedies, the Brits got us beat. The final chapter in the Cornetto Trilogy delivers on all fronts, with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's chemistry better than ever in this drunken bromance meets alien invasion piece. In terms of comedy, easily the best film I've seen this year.
4. Pacific Rim- Guillermo Del Toro promised me giant robots fighting giant monsters. That's what I got, so I was happy. I don't care how simplistic the story was, how underdeveloped the characters were or how many plot holes there were. This was escapist entertainment at its finest, and that's all I really wanted.
3. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire- The second book of the "Hunger Games" trilogy was my favorite, so this came with great expectations on my end. I wasn't disappointed. This was a perfect adaptation and an excellent follow-up to the first film, with action and characters eclipsing its predecessor and an emotional cliffhanger ending. The Odds were definitely in this one's favor.
2. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug- Part of me still doubts whether Jackson should have made a trilogy out of a simple children's book, but I was having too much fun with this film to really care. All the changes worked in the confines of Tolkein's world, and any more time devoted to Benedict Cumberbatch's amazing rendition of Smaug the dragon was a plus.
1. Gravity- Blurring the lines between Oscar bait and blockbuster, this film came out of nowhere to be my number one film of the year. Sandra Bullock and George Clooney's acting chops were always on display, but the real star was the cinematography. The plot's a little thin, I admit, but for a solid hour and a half I felt like I was in space. This film defines why we go to movies in the first place- to get lost in another world. Unlike every other film I saw this year, this felt like a genuine cinematic achievement, and for such a memorable experience, it deserves my top spot.
But like every new year, when we look back we also look with regret. Here are twelve films I regret not having time to see, that I'll hopefully see this year.
1. Her (Man falls in love with computer. I can relate.)
2. The Wolf of Wall Street (Leo DiCaprio and Martin Scorsese never disappoint.)
3. American Hustle (Batman, Hawkeye, Katniss, Lois Lane, and Rocket Raccoon in the '70s.)
4. Captain Phillips (Tom Hanks looks great as ever in this hostage thriller.)
5. Saving Mr. Banks (Tom Hanks again, only now as Walt Disney.)
6. 12 Years A Slave (This dark, brutal take on American slavery looks fascinating.)
7. Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (I love the first one. Why not?)
8. Despicable Me 2 (Who doesn't love those minions?)
9. Frozen (The animation looks gorgeous, and the songs I've heard are catchy.)
10. Inside Llewyn Davis (Come on, it's the Coen Brothers! Why wouldn't I?)
11. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (The reviews are bad, yes, but the visuals look stunning.)
12. Fast and Furious 6 (I'll get around to it as soon as I watch Fast Five. R.I.P. Paul Walker.)
And since I'm on the topic of what films I should watch this year, here are a list of 14 films I need to see for 2014, now that the new year is fully in swing.
1. The Lego Movie- An entire film comprised of LEGOs, with Chris Pratt, Morgan Freeman, Will Ferrell, Elizabeth Banks, and Liam Neeson doing voice work? What's that? The directors of "21 Jump Street" and "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs"? What's that? LEGO versions of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, and Flash? Ok, I'm sold.
2. Robocop- As much as I want to hate this film, the presence of Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Keaton and Gary Oldman has me intrigued. Plus, it's an actual update, focusing on our society's current technophobia and the government's love of drones. This could actually be a winner.
3. Noah- Darren Aronofsky, aka the director of "Black Swan", is making a good old-fashioned Biblical epic about everyone's favorite guy in a boat. And he's played by Russel Crowe. And Emma Watson, Jennifer Connely, Anthony Hopkins, and Ray Winstone are involved. Also, apparently there are six armed angels. That's gotta be worth something.
4. Captain America: The Winter Soldier- This is really a no-brainer. Adapting the best Captain America comic book arc, focusing on Cap's isolation in modern times, and containing a 70s era conspiracy thriller plot, this is poised to possibly be the best Phase II film yet.
5. Transcendence- Wally Pfister, the cinematographer who teamed with Nolan for the "Dark Knight" trilogy, directs his first feature, a dark sci-fi thriller starring Johnny Depp about a dying man whose consciousness is transferred into a computer, creating a rogue A.I. Should make for some head-scratching stuff, possibly one of the best original science fiction films in years.
6. The Amazing Spider-Man 2- My favorite superhero's back! And this time, he's got Electro, Rhino, and Green Goblin to go up against! Oh wait, didn't three villains doom "Spider-Man 3"? Well, having Jamie Foxx, Paul Giamatti and Dane Dehaan play them certainly helps, as does connecting the villains through Oscorp and building towards the Sinister Six. Everything I've seen about this film, from the suit to the action to the new characters, makes it look like it'll be the best Spider-Man yet.
7. Godzilla- The '90s film was a let down, yes, but the trailer for this film has me beyond pumped. A darker tone, great actors in Elizabeth Olson, Aaron Taylor Johnson and Bryan Cranston, and a more faithful rendition of the giant lizard makes this look very promising. Plus, the rumors of Godzilla going up against other monsters has me even more excited.
8. X-Men: Days of Future Past- "The Wolverine" was a step in the right direction, and now that Bryan Singer is back in the director's chair, I expect a lot from this new outing. Crossing over all the previous films using time travel, retconning timeline mistakes, introducing the Sentinels, and teasing uber-villain Apocalypse are exciting enough, but just having the A-list actors from "First Class" and the previous X-trilogy together takes the cake.
9. How To Train Your Dragon 2- I adored the first film, and the sequel looks like a worthy follow-up in addition to being visually stunning.
10. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes- The first film was a pleasant surprise, and the return of Andy Serkis as Ceasar in an all-out war between humans and apes makes this an automatic must-see.
11. Guardians of the Galaxy- The Marvel Cinematic Universe's biggest risk since the first "Iron Man", testing out a D-list superhero property and seeing if it has legs. With Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Lee Pace, Karen Gillian, and John C. Reilly on board, I don't see how this could fail. It's a full-blown, "Star Wars"-esque space opera set in the Marvel Universe! Plus, it has Vin Deisel as a talking tree and Bradley Cooper as a gun-toting raccoon. Sure, it could fail. But there's so much potential here it can't not make my list.
12. Interstellar- Chris Nolan. Science fiction film. About people on a devastated Earth, traveling across the galaxy through wormholes to seek out new resources. Exactly how could I let this slide off my radar?
13. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part One- Even though it's based on the first half of the weakest book, Hollywood's treatment of the series thus far has been fantastic. And with two films to devote to the finale, I'm hoping that some of the more controversial elements can be changed to make a better cinematic experience. Here's hoping.
14. The Hobbit: There and Back Again- Finally, we'll see if Peter Jackson's choice to make "The Hobbit" into a trilogy pays off. No matter what happens, it'll be great to see Smaug destroying Lake Town, Gandalf expelling Sauron from Dol Goldur and the epic Battle of Five Armies. It's the last film set in Middle Earth, and I'm content to enjoy it while it lasts.
But just so I cover all my bases, here are some other films that look interesting that I'll probably end up seeing, one way or another.
1. Transformers: Age of Extinction (Mark Walburg and Dinobots. Might as well give it a try.)
2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (I'm intrigued, Megan Fox as April O' Neal aside.)
3. The Monuments Men (George Clooney, John Goodman and Bill Murray in World War II, natch.)
4. 300: Rise of an Empire (It has no Gerard Butler, but stylized Spartan action sounds good.)
5. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (The first was great, ready for round two.)
6. Exodus (Another Biblical epic, only now it's Christian Bale as Moses with Ridley Scott directing.)
7. A Million Ways to Die in the West (Seth McFarlane doing a western. Could be funny.)
8. 22 Jump Street (The first one was hilarious. Now they're in college? I gotta see this.)
9. Big Hero 6 (The first animated Disney film using Marvel characters, with a Japanese influence.)
10. Jupiter Ascending (A new sci-fi from the "Matrix" directors. It'll be great to look at, at least.)
11. Edge of Tomorrow (Tom Cruise's new sci-fi looks like "Groundhog Day" mixed with aliens.)
12. Muppets Most Wanted (The Muppets are back, and in Europe this time!)
No comments:
Post a Comment