Yes, it's amazing! I'm actually writing more rants within days of each other! This one concerns a subject that's very dear to me. I've made no attempt to hide my love of "Harry Potter" in the past, but I've never actually dedicated a full rant to it. I think now is the proper time, given the recent announcement that J.K. Rowling's "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them" adaptation will be turned into a trilogy. Now while I think the tale of Newt Scamander, the world's foremost magizoologist (that's someone who studies magical creatures for you muggles) could make for an interesting film, I highly doubt you'd be able to milk a trilogy out of it.
"The Hobbit" is barely working as a trilogy, so why would this? The thing is, Harry Potter himself had a wonderful character arc that could be carried across eight films. Newt doesn't have that, even if Rowling is writing the screenplay and has all the details mapped out in her head. But if WB truly wants to create a series of "Harry Potter" spinoffs that make the Wizarding World into a shared universe, then allow me to map out that universe for them. Who better to resurrect the "Potter" franchise and make it worthy competition for "The Avengers" and "Star Wars" then a die-hard Potter fan?
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's say that WB wants eight more films, to mirror the eight Potter films they already have. Ludicrous, you might say. And normally I'd agree with you. But luckily, the "Harry Potter" books are so packed with detail, that you could actually mine another eight films out of them, and Rowling could still write the screenplays if she wanted to better map out the stories. Here is my proposal for an eight-part spinoff franchise to "Harry Potter." Not all of them are tightly connected, the only thread being a shared universe in the Wizarding Wold. The main Potter series already provides all the connective tissue needed.
1. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them- so believe it or not, I'm actually on board with the trilogy idea. But not the idea of "Fantastic Beasts" taking up all three films. "Beasts" should be the first of this trilogy, and like the description Rowling gave, should be about Newt Scamander traveling the world studying magical creatures. I like the idea of him starting in New York 70 years before Harry's journey. We actually haven't explored the Wizarding World of America yet, and to see that unfold could be incredibly cinematic. But we shouldn't linger there too long. For Newt, his journey should involve traveling around the world to seek out the rarest of all magical creatures.
I could see him backpacking through Europe to find rare dragon species in the mountains, or scrounging the forests for his mysterious Crumple-Horned Snorkack. In fact, since Rowling said Newt's grandson ultimately marries Luna Lovegood, maybe the film should open with the two of them, with Rolf Scamander then telling Luna about his grandfather's life. It'd automatically provide some nice connective tissue without shoving in too many cameos from the main series, and give us a reason to care about Newt's exploits. I think Newt's search for one elusive creature should be the driving force for the film, fueling his obsession as he travels the world. All the while, he's gathering information on other creatures and begins work on his book, which becomes a standard Hogwarts textbook later on. It'd be a lighter story set in the Wizarding World, but if this is truly to become a film, those are my wishes for it.
2. Quidditch Through the Ages- my idea for the loose trilogy that forms the first three of my eight films is to base each installment off of one of Rowling's spinoff books. As such, the next film would be "Quidditch Through the Ages." Now since the book in question basically covers the history of the sport and the different teams, a narrative will have to be invented. I don't think exploring the actual history would make for an exciting film. But Quidditch was always one of the most exciting things about the books, and the few matches that made it into the films were expertly staged.
Since the latter half of the film series cut out the Quidditch matches, it'd be cool to actually devote a whole film to them. I would simply treat the film as a magical sports drama. Focus on one of the big Quidditch teams, like Ron's favorite the Chudly Cannons or the Hollyhead Harpies. Have a main character, who's read the original book and loves the sport, sign up with the team and go through several matches to work their way up to the Quidditch World Cup. It's your basic sports film, yeah, but I think the Quidditch aspect, itself iconic in the "Potter" franchise, would make it unique enough that people would get behind it. I know I would.
3. The Tales of Beedle the Bard- the third and final spinoff book rounds out the first trilogy of my eight-part plan. Now this one is a little more difficult to pull off as a full-length film. I'd approach it kind of like "The Princess Bride", maybe with Harry and Ginny or Ron and Hermione (why not both?) reading the stories to their young children (this'd be before the Deathly Hallows epilogue). Or if not that route, have Mrs. Weasley reading to all the Weasley kids. Either way, once the bedtime story aspect begins, it'd basically turn into an anthology film.
"The Wizard and the Hopping Pot", "Babbity Rabbity and her Cackling Stump", "The Fountain of Fair Fortune", and "The Warlock's Hairy Heart" are all quirky tales that would make for interesting stories in live action, especially since they explore the Middle Ages period of this world. I'd also prefer that each story have its own director, like the "Twilight Zone" movie from the '80s. This way, each segment has its own identity and allows each director to bring their own personal flare to the film. It'd be similar to how the main series was passed between four directors with their own views on the material.
The only real difficulty here is "The Tale of the Three Brothers" since it was already told so brilliantly in "Deathly Hallows Part One" with animation. I'd either recycle that short, or maybe re-do and expand on the tale using live action. If that's the case, the brothers would have to be characterized better and their individual stories given more depth. The Brothers' tale could potentially make for a film unto itself, but I think an expanded take on the animated version we've seen, mixed with all the other stories, would make it unique.
If the frame story was live action and the stories animated, then the anthology parts should adopt the format of "The Animatrix" or "Batman: Gotham Knight" (I wouldn't go the anime route though, maybe one segment tops.) If the stories are being read by the adult versions of our beloved heroes, this could also be a perfect opportunity to explain how the third brother, Ignotus Perverell, is Harry's ancestor, with his Invisiblity Cloak being one of the Deathly Hallows. This is something that the films never got around to explaining, and I think it'd justify the re-telling of the tale and reinforce how significant it is to Harry's history.
4. Hogwarts: A History- this is just a tentative title (not all of my proposed films are based on magical textbooks), but this does explain my intentions with this film. I'd like to explore the fascinating time period of the Hogwarts' Founders. This not only provides a proper origin tale for the beloved school, but also can be an intense character drama focusing on the relationships between the Founders. Seeing Godric Gryffindor obtain his sword, Helga Hufflepuff her cup, and Rowena Ravenclaw her diadem would be great, if only to emphasize how the cup and diadem will one day become Horcruxes.
Slytherin, of course, would have his locket and ring, which he ingrained with the Resurrection Stone. All of that, of course, is just in the background. The main story is how the Four Founders met and started the school, and how Slytherin fell out with them. Slytherin really needs to show off his anti-Muggle/Mudblood beliefs, and how this drives him to leave the school and build the Chamber of Secrets beneath it. This provides so much set up for the conflict to come in the main series, but could serve as a standalone drama in its own right. There'd be a few time jumps to show the creation of the school and Slytherin's falling out, but I still think it could work as one tight film.
5. The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore- seriously, I'm not intending for them all to be based on fictional books. Think of these as tentative titles. Either way, I would like to devote an entire film to Dumbledore, if only because the "Deathly Hallows" films kind of glossed over his backstory. The final book weaved a fascinating backstory for Albus, including his relationships with his siblings and his friend Gellert Grindewald. The film could brush on Albus's feelings for Grindewald, maybe imply they have something, but it doesn't have to be in-your-face about it in case people get offended. Personally, I'd like to explore how the two had a relationship that was more than friends, so it's more tragic when Grindewald becomes a Dark Wizard.
An extensive prologue (or maybe interspersed flashbacks) would show Albus's childhood, including his father killing three muggle boys who traumatized Ariana and caused her to lose control of her magic. One of Ariana's magical rages kills their mother, leaving Albus in charge of Ariana and Aberforth. Albus then meets Grindelwald, and they start obsessing over the Deathly Hallows. This search intensifies when a duel between Albus, Grindelwald, and Aberforth leads to Ariana's death. Albus would then obsess over finding the Deathly Hallows, especially the Resurrection Stone so he could apologize to Ariana.
Their quest for the Hallows seems fruitless, until Grindewald manages to locate and steal the Elder Wand. He then uses it to become a major Dark Wizard, and influences World War II. The climax of the film would be Dumbledore dueling Grindelwald and winning the Elder Wand. His career as a Hogwarts teacher could be mentioned, but I don't want it to take up the main story. I think his personal life and relationship with Grindelwald and his siblings is all that's needed, since it turns Albus into a flawed character who is easily relatable.
6. Magicke Most Evil- ok, another book title. I guess the titles just fit the stories I want to tell. This book is the one that Tom Riddle sought out for information about Horcruxes. Basically, this film is to be the dark mirror to Dumbledore's film, by acting as a biopic for Voldemort. While the "Chamber of Secrets" and "Half-Blood Prince" went into Riddle's childhood, I'd like to explore more of the "Half-Blood Prince" flashbacks that were cut from the movie, as well as Riddle's first steps toward becoming Voldemort, his first Horcruxes, and the formation of the Death Eaters and the start of the first Wizarding War. Not only would the film cover all the "Prince" flashbacks, but include the actual first conflicts of the War, to show Voldemort gaining power and earning his reputation as the most feared Dark Wizard of all time.
The film would not end with Voldemort seeking out the Potters, but instead show the first Wizarding War beginning, as fear over Riddle's power spreads worldwide. While Tom is obviously supposed to be an evil person who we can't root for, I think if the Founders' film works out with Slytherin, you could show just how similar Riddle is to his ancestor, and get into his motivations for doing what he does. If nothing else, the film could be structured around Dumbledore collecting memories for the Pensieve as the First War begins, or maybe have the film take place from the perspective of one of Voldemort's followers as he learns of his master's past and rise to power. Either way, there's a lot of potential for a neat story here.
7. The Marauders- told you they weren't all titled off books! This one is, obviously, based on the Marauders. It will actually be the first of a two-parter focusing on James, Lilly, Remus, Sirius, Peter, and Snape during their Hogwarts careers. It would have more of Snape and Lilly meeting as kids, but a lot on James befriending Sirius, Remus, and Peter. The film would have several time jumps to cover their entire seven-year career, because let's face it, despite their hilarious hijinks, the Marauders' years weren't as interesting as Harry's. However, this will give an opportunity to compare James's time at school with Harry's, to see how similar and different they were.
What I would focus on is the love triangle between James, Lilly, and Snape. However, Sirius's relationship with his family (and brother Regulus) and Remus's coping with his werewolf condition would also be major subplots. A good chunk of the film would be devoted to the four making the Marauder's Map and becoming Animagi to accompany Remus, and the pranks they pull on the student body. The incident described in the "Azkaban" book with the prank pulled on Snape would be included, and it would also expand on James's bullying of Snape, including the incident in their fifth year that Harry briefly saw in the film (it'd play out in full like in the books, including the aftermath where Lilly confronts Snape). Snape's growing fascination with the Dark Arts will also be highlighted, including his adopting of the "Half-Blood Prince" persona.
Ultimately, after Snape's falling out with Lilly, the rest of the film would focus on James courting Lilly and them becoming a couple, before they all graduate (an event we never really get to see with Harry, so I'd love to see how the ceremony works). This film would also run concurrently with the back end of the Voldemort film, with his rise to power as another subplot. This would only be alluded to, since the focus is on the relationships between the Marauders. To make the Voldemort plot more relevant, it may be a good idea to have Snape consider joining the cause, with a final (short) duel between him and James right before or after graduation. I'd almost compare this film tonally with the darker yet still comedic antics of "Half Blood Prince", but the segments when they're kids will obviously mirror the child-like tone of the first few films.
8. The Wizarding War- my final film will explain the rest of the First Wizarding War, having seen it's beginnings in the Voldemort film. I think a good opening scene would be the events described in Rowling's prequel short story, where a muggle policeman witnesses James and Sirius battling Death Eaters. We'd see Dumbledore forming the Order of the Phoenix, as well as the circumstances behind Snape, Peter, and Regulus joining the Death Eaters. Bellatrix Lestrange and Barty Crouch's torturing of the Longbottoms would be a major turning point of the film.
Another big scene would be Snape eavesdropping on Dumbledore and Trelawney's meeting where the Prophecy is first made. This will of course lead to Voldemort seeking out the Potters, and Snape to defect to the Order. The Potters will go into hiding, and Peter will betray their location to Voldemort. We will get to see Voldemort actually killing the Potters and Harry getting scarred. Regulus stealing Voldemort's locket Horcrux and dying in the cave will also be included. The film would end with Sirius confronting Peter, who blows up the street to cover his transformation into Scabbers. Sirius is sent to Azkaban, and the world lies in wait for young Harry Potter to come of age, while celebrating Voldemort's supposed defeat.
Now before I end this rant, you're probably wondering why I don't suggest a film describing the lives of an adult Harry, Ron, and Hermione, or the adventures of their kids as they go to Hogwarts. Quite frankly, it's because I don't think there's an interesting story there. The epilogue was enough of a look into Harry's post-Hogwarts life. If I were to revisit that in the "Tales of Beedle the Bard" film, it'd only be as Harry telling stories to his kids. Once Voldemort is killed, the story ends.
The great thing about the films I've outlined is that, barring "Beasts" and "Quidditch" (probably the only true spin-offs), they're all connected, and introduce plot threads that are concluded in the main series. But these films all come with their own standalone narratives and cast of characters. Plus, they'd satisfy those die hard fans (like myself) who were annoyed at all the subplots and backstory that was cut out of the main series' adaptations. "Beedle the Bard's" expansion of the Three Brothers feeds into the Founders, Dumbledore, and Voldemort films, which in turn feeds into the Marauders' films, which then culminates in the main series.
"Beasts" and "Quidditch" are just there to act as fun romps through different parts of the Wizarding World, to warm audiences up to the idea of exploring parts of this world without Harry. At the end of the day, this spinoff franchise would satisfy all the Potter fanatics while reaping huge rewards for WB, while also capitalizing on the shared universe model that's now so popular. And speaking of shared universes, expect a lot of rants about the MCU coming soon. I plan on properly reviewing "Thor: The Dark World" and "Agents of SHIELD" before the new "Captain America" comes out, so I can complete my MCU coverage that goes back all the way to when I started this blog. But for now, Mischief Managed.
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