Retro Review: Iron Man

         
           This is to be my first entry in a new series I like to call "Retro Reviews", where I'll be reviewing old movies and analyzing whether I still feel the same way about them now as I did back then. With the Avengers hitting in America in less than a week, I decided to do my first Retro Review series on the Marvel films, starting of course with the film that started it all, Iron Man.

           What can I say about this film that people haven't already said? I think it's brilliant. Personally, Iron Man is among my favorite comic book film adaptations (beat out only by The Dark Knight and Spider-Man 2). Robert Downey Jr. single handedly took one of Marvel's B-list characters and made him iconic. His interactions with the rest of the top notch cast, from Gwyneth Paltrow's Pepper Potts to Terrence Howard's Rhodey to Jeff Bridge's Obadiah Stane, make the film something to truly behold. What I really love about this film is the sense of realism given off by director Jon Favreau, how he allows the passage of time to move realistically in order to make us believe that building an armored suit is really possible. The building of the armor is handled so expertly, from the steampunk-esque Mark I to the shiny Mark II to the iconic red and gold Mark III, that I can't help but be entranced by every aspect of the story.

           I know I've already mentioned it, but I really have to hand it to RDJ. He embodies Tony Stark perfectly, and yet at the same time redefines the character, bringing out his witty, sarcastic side to make him a truly unique individual. The personal arc he goes through is genius, with Stark learning what it means to be held accountable for his actions and take responsibility for the weapons he created. One of my favorite scenes, one which I think exemplifies this arc beautifully, was when he lands in the Middle East and takes out the terrorists in the Mark III. Not only was it a glorious set piece, but there was something that felt right about it. When we think of superheroes out to "save the world", I often wonder why any of them don't get the idea to go out and actually solve the world's problems. Batman's in Gotham, Spidey's in New York, but it  seems like they always handle problems on an urban level instead of an international level.  

           Now here's Iron Man, who in the comics was made as a metaphor for the military industrial complex, and here is reimagined for the War on Terror in place of his Vietnam roots. Either way, it's brilliant to see a hero actually responding to world wide threats. He sees a news channel about suffering in the Middle East, he goes there and beats the crap out of terrorists. This is a superhero who actually gets it. It also helps that, unlike the adolescent, drama-infested Spider-Man or the dark, brooding Batman, Iron Man actually gets to have a little fun.

             The film is full of humor, from the trials of building the suit to Tony's interactions with Pepper and Rhodey. I found myself laughing out loud at some of the gags. More than anything, the first Iron Man really captures the essence of a Marvel comic book, all the while making it modernized and cinematic enough to work as an enjoyable film that everyone, not just comic book nerds, can enjoy.

             With that said, I do love how the director added in easter eggs for comic fans. The Ten Rings was an excellent way to reference Mandarin without fully showing him, and I really hope that Iron Man 3, despite what Shane Black says, includes him just to resolve that plot point. The foreshadowing of Rhodey's transformation into War Machine was a nice touch, although I wish we got to see what Terrence Howard would have brought to the role had he not been recasted. Somehow I get the feeling he would have had a better dynamic with Tony had he donned the War Machine armor, but I'm here to review what is, not what could have been (besides, this is more relevant to Iron Man 2 anyway). Speaking of which, I noticed how the F-22s were code named Whiplash 1 and 2, which is a nice throaway considering Favrau's choice of villain for the sequel. And of course, there's SHIELD. The acronym pun was funny throughout the film, and I loved the introduction to Coulson, who despite not being a comic based character has gone on to become a breakout supporting role in these films. And then of course is the all-important end credits scene, a brilliant way to tease fans with the Avengers initiative. Four years ago, I thought it was just wishful thinking, but now it's actually happening and I couldn't be more excited for it.

           Now that all of this has been said, the question remains: how does the film hold up? Do I still enjoy it just as much now as I did four years ago? The answer is a resounding yes. Not only does Iron Man act as a spring board for Marvel's grand plan, it also works beautifully as a standalone film. Yes, there are teases to a sequel, but as a film it really does work well. The "I Am Iron Man" reveal at the end not only spells dangerous consequences for Tony's future, but also plays on his character, and completely subverts the "rule" in superhero films that the hero has to have a secret identity. But back to what I was saying, the film does hold up after repeat viewings. It's a magnificent film that to this day is one of my all-time favorite superhero movies. Tomorrow I will be reviewing "Iron Man 2", the next phase in Tony Stark's personal journey as well as the next step on the road to the Avengers.

Hunger Games review

      Well, I have returned from seeing The Hunger Games, and being the huge movie freak that I am, I must compulsively reveal my thoughts on the matter to the entirety of the Internet. I will begin by reviewing it as a film and then as an adaptation of the book, since I have had the privilege of reading said book.

      The Hunger Games is an entertaining, well acted film with a compelling story that delivers on action but never forgets that the story and characters are required to make the film work. Jennifer Lawrence is amazing as Katniss Everdeen, who shines as both a distinctly feminine character with a vulnerable side yet is possessed of an innate strength that carries throughout the film. Woody Harrelson, Lenny Kravitz, Stanly Tucci, Wes Bentley, Elizabeth Banks, and Donald Sutherland all give off memorable performances as the adult characters who inhabit this unique world. Liam Hemsworth and Josh Hutcherson act as Katniss's potential boy toys in a love triangle, and while they do good with what they are given, they don't really come across as three dimensional characters (Hutcherson at least shows some charisma). While this film is no "Twilight", the romance does factor into the plot, but thankfully never dominates it. That falls to the viciousness of the games, which are set up spectacularly before we are thrown into the thick of it and watch as teenagers kill each other.

       Director Gary Ross uses shaky camera movements throughout the film. Towards the beginning, it acts as a hindrance, but once in the arena this style plays to the film's advantage, downplaying the violence to maintain a PG-13 rating but never backing away from the consequences. We may not see a lot of coherent killing, but there's plenty of blood and corpses, and the reactions of the characters confirm how savage the games are. In a day and age where torture porn films like Saw put gore up on screen every other minute, it's nice to see a film where violence is left to the viewer's imagination (and since it's adapting a book, is that really a stretch?) The shaky cam also gives the film a gritty feel, which makes the survival aspect of the film that much more believable.

        As an adaptation of the book, The Hunger Games delivers in spades for its rabid fanbase, but at the same time there are several elements that fans may complain about. While they do not get in the way from enjoying the film and are little more than nitpicks, the absence of these elements could pose problems for understanding character motivations in this film and the sequels it clearly sets up (this is, after all, the first of a trilogy, and given its box office gross the sequels are all but guaranteed.) First, the book is told entirely from Kantiss's point of view. Since internal monologues don't work well on film, we lose the insights into Kantiss's head that both explain her motivations and the larger aspects of this world. The film makes it clear that Peeta loves Katniss and that she needs to play it up for the audience, but without the window into her head, uninitiated film goers won't realize that Katniss doesn't really love Peeta; she loves Gale. This whole experience is supposed to make her feel confused about her feelings for Gale, but the film never explains this. It simply comes across as Katniss genuinely loves Peeta. In addition, through her insights we learn that Kantiss's alliance with Rue was because she reminded her of her sister, thus deepening their bond, but again the film never emphasizes this, so the alliance comes across as forced.

       Thankfully, the lack of Katniss's POV is made up by the addition of extra scenes between President Snow and Seneca Crane while the games are going on. These help explain aspects of the book's universe (such as the genetically modified mutts and tracker jackers) and the mindset of the government in implementing the games. It is the presence of these scenes that allows even non-fans to become immersed in the film's universe without the insights into Katniss's mind, and succeeds in making the villains more villainous and the heroes more heroic. On that note, the film did something surprising (in my eyes) by starting the rebellion among the districts one book early. This was probably to visualize the larger effect of the games on the districts and to set up the stakes that grow ever higher when the sequels come round. However, if this was the intention, then there was one element not included in the film that I thought undermined the rebellion arc they wanted to start and continue throughout the trilogy.

        This element was the treatment of the Mockingjay pin. In the film, Katniss simply buys the pin and it is presented in a context that would be confusing to non-fans. Both Cinna and President Snow know the importance of the pin when they see it, but the only reference to Mockingjays is when Katniss and Rue use them to communicate while in the arena. Never does the film reference the role Mockingjays played in the first rebellion, or how it was a symbol of resistance that Katniss would become associated with as the trilogy unfolds. On that note, while the film references 13 districts during the first war, it never says how the 13th District was wiped out by the Capitol, which will cause problems when it comes time to adapt the second and third books. I think that by not explaining these crucial plot points, the film fails to emphasize the importance of the Mockingjay, which book fans will know but to others will never get why the pin is so important. I would think that a symbol that is shown prominently on the film's posters would have been given a proper explanation, but hopefully this can be corrected in the sequel.

       Despite these complaints, I can't really fault the Hunger Games either as a film or as an adaptation. There is a lot of respect to the source material here, both for the universe and the characters who inhabit it. This is a film that will please existing fans and make new fans out of those who watch it. With a few minor adjustments (more insights into Katniss's POV and explanations of the all-important backstory) the sequels can really shine. As it is, "The Hunger Games" possesses a strong story and great character development, and serves as both a worthy adaptation and an excellent film in its own right.
   

Fanfic: Justice League Generations Trilogy

       The Avengers will be out in about a month, and all DC can do is churn out a Batman trilogy, an upcoming Superman reboot, and a mediocre Green Lantern film. Where have they been? Why no Justice League? Below is a concept for what I think would be a cool  Justice League film trilogy.

        1. Justice League-The film serves as a World War II period piece (ala Captain America) and features an up and coming Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Hawkman, and the Jay Garrick and Alan Scott Flash and Green Lantern. They come together when Superman and Batman learn that Lex Luthor is gathering a legion of powerful super villains (Metallo, Joker, Cheetah, Icicle, Mirror Master, Black Manta, and Shadow Thief) to ally themselves with the Nazis in order to take down the world's superheroes and pool resources to create superhuman Nazi soldiers.

        2. Justice League Ascending-Set in the 1960s at the height of the Cold War, this film explains that after WWII, the government tried to draft the Justice League into their service. Wonder Woman and Aquaman returned to their kingdoms, Superman allied with the government, Batman operated out of Gotham illegally and took on Robin/Nightwing as his ward, Hawkman retired and started a family before dying, Flash died, and Green Lantern went on to co-found Ferris Air, with Hal Jordan as the top test pilot. Lex Luthor has become the U.S. President, and tries to either force the golden age heroes out of retirement or create new versions of them. Barry Allen tries to recreate the experiment that made Jay Garrick the Flash and becomes the Flash himself. Hal Jordan is given Alan Scott's ring and becomes the new Green Lantern. Hawkman's half human half Thanagarian daughter, Shayera, grows wings and wishes to take up her father's mantle as Hawkgirl. Meanwhile, Lex sends out a probe that winds up on Mars, where it activates the dormant Brainiac, a living machine that ravages worlds in its quest for knowledge and energy. J'onn J'onnz, the last Martian, forced Brainiac into dormancy after he had wiped out his entire race thousands of years ago. With Brainiac back online and heading for Earth, J'onn reawakens and heads to Earth to intercept him. J'onn sends out a psychic signal that gathers Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Hawkgirl, and the new Green Lantern and Flash together to fight Brainiac and his army of techno-organic warriors before they destroy the Earth.

        3. Justice League Apocalypse-Set in the present day, the film follows the unaging Superman, Wonder Woman, J'onn, Hawkwoman, and Aquaman  as they oversee the next generation of the Justice League. Barry Allen and Hal Jordan have passed their personas on to Wally West and Kyle Rayner, respectively. Batman has died, but not before marrying Catwoman and fostering a daughter, Helena, now the Huntress. She fights crime alongside the new Batman, Dick Grayson, the former Robin. New heroes include Green Arrow, Black Canary, and Cyborg. This new incarnation of the League must fight to save the entire universe from destruction at the hands of Darkseid, the tyrant from Apocalypse who seeks the annihilation of all life.

Fanfic: Iron Man 3

        As the Avengers draws closer and closer to its release date, I began to wonder what Marvel has in store for its two post-Avengers flicks, Iron Man 3 and Thor 2. I've heard rumors that the plot of Iron Man 3 will be more like a spy-thriller, and involve nanobots that invoke the Extremis story arc. Based on these rumors, and other personal desires, I have decided to cobble together a plot outline for how I would like to see Iron Man 3 turn out.

        The film will take place post-Avengers, where in the aftermath of the invasion Tony Stark realizes he's not the big shot superhero anymore. Captain America and Thor, due to having actual powers, are stealing the limelight away from Tony, who begins doubting his self-worth. In order to compete in the same league as his fellow heroes, Tony begins designing the Mark VIII, a revolutionary new armor composed of liquid metal nanobots that will bond with Tony through his arc reactor and be administered throughout his body. Basically, he can summon a liquid metal armor at will, then add more weapons and attachments onto it as he sees fit when it comes time for upgrades. Having made himself a cyborg, Tony can now instantly interface with computer systems as well.

        As Tony is experimenting with his new armor, his rival Justin Hammer is released from prison and attempts to compete once again with Stark Enterprises. He gets help when his company agrees to a merger with a Middle Eastern company run by Gene Khan, who goes by the alias of the Mandarin, a powerful warlord who is the leader of the Ten Rings organization that captured Tony in the first film. Mandarin wants vengeance against Stark for humiliating his men in the first film, and hoped that providing the resources for Ivan Vanko to get to Monaco would have allowed Whiplash to destroy Stark. Since that has fallen through, and Iron Man has successfully become an Avenger in the wake of the invasion, Mandarin wants to be directly involved in taking Iron Man down.

        Mandarin sends one of his agents, the Spymaster, to infiltrate Stark Enterprises to steal the designs for Stark's various armors and the latest arc reactor (the one powered by the cosmic cube element). While there, Spymaster finds that Tony has been reverse engineering leftover tech from the alien invasion to advance his armor (this is how he created the nanobots). Among the tech Tony had salvaged was ten alien rings, each one highly advanced and carrying a separate power. Tony was unable to unlock the power of the rings, and so kept them in storage until he could decide what to do with them. Spymaster steals these, as well as the arc reactor and armor designs. While Mandarin takes the rings for himself and tries to make them work, he has Justin Hammer use his company's resources to manufacture suits and arc reactors for Mandarin's men.

         Spymaster is the first to receive a suit, a unique one made of an alien material that allows the wearer to become invisible and intangible. Spymaster rechristens himself the Ghost. Another of Mandarin's thugs gets a suit that channels the cosmic cube energy from the arc reactor into a concentrated beam of heat that melts anything in its path. This thug becomes the Melter. With these weapons, Mandarin tasks Ghost and Melter to take Stark out of the equation. Melter publicly challenges Iron Man to a battle while Ghost infiltrates the Stark computer system to shut down the company's mainframe. Tony defeats the Melter, who is apprehended by SHIELD, but the property damage caused by the fight paints Stark in a bad light, and the people begin to lose respect for him. Nick Fury tasks Coulson and Black Widow to keep an eye on Stark and investigate who hired the Melter. The Ghost shuts down Stark's power grid, leaving Tony without access to his lab and also rendering JARVIS offline.

        Coupled together, these events cause Tony to lose the admiration of the public. Rhodey takes Tony's place in the Avengers initiative as War Machine, while stock in Hammer Industries rises as Hammer begins mass producing arc reactor tech. The blackout at Stark gives Hammer enough leverage to buy out Tony's company. SHIELD freezes Tony's bank accounts to prevent Tony from doing something stupid while they send Rhodes, Coulson, and Widow to investigate Hammer's role in hiring the Melter and causing the Stark blackout. Tony begins drinking heavily following this fall from grace, and due to his alcoholism Pepper leaves him.

          At this time, Hammer's scientists develop a new arc reactor that can serve as a power source for the Mandarin's rings. The reactors are used to power high tech weapons (in essence resembling more advanced versions of the ones used in Captain America). Now possessing the full power of the ten rings and commanding an army of soldiers with arc reactor technology, Mandarin deems Hammer expendable and kills him, before marching his army out to take over the country. The soldiers quickly overwhelm War Machine, Black Widow, Coulson, and a large squad of SHIELD agents sent in by Fury as backup. Tony, realizing that he needs to swallow his pride for the sake of making the world a better place, gets over his drinking problem with the help of Pepper and suits up as Iron Man, breaking into his own company and entering a final battle with the Ghost before obtaining new armor upgrades to create his most advanced armor yet: The Silver Centurion (same color scheme as the briefcase armor just more advanced).

        Tony flies off and, with War Machine and SHIELD backing him up, takes out most of the Ten Rings soldiers and their arc tech. Tony then enters a final battle with the Mandarin, who proves to be more than a match using the rings. Tony eventually manages to overload the arc reactor powering the rings, creating a huge energy discharge that destroys the rings and Mandarin. With the battle won, Tony buys back his company, makes amends with Rhodey, Pepper, and SHIELD, and realizes his worth as a superhero, both as a solo one and as a member of the Marvel Universe.

Fanfic: Ninja Turtles...IN SPAAAAAACCEEEEEE

         

          The 'Net's been abuzz lately about how Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot will have the Turtles as aliens instead of mutants, and to reflect this change the working title has dropped "Teenage Mutant" from the title to make it just "Ninja Turtles". People have been arguing about this viciously for the past week now, and I thought I'd share my two cents. I never really liked the Ninja Turtles to begin with, but I respect their contributions to '80s and '90s pop culture and how they were a huge part of many people's childhoods. While I never watched the Turtles, I learned about their mythology through friends who were fans, and I have to say that personally, the Turtles as aliens could work depending on the context it's presented in. Bay said they come from "an alien race", but did he mean there was an entire planet of turtles, or that the means by which the turtles were mutated was alien? Looking past that, how good will the film be given Bay's behind it? In all probability, it won't be. But if it revives the Turtles's film franchise the same way the Transformers films renewed that series, we could be looking at anything from a horrible pile of shit to an entertaining guilty pleasure. Or it could defy all expectations and actually be, well, good.

           Regardless of the quality of the film, here's how I think a Ninja Turtles film could be presented in a modern context incorporating Bay's "alien" idea. The film would begin in Dimension X, and have Krang, the leader of a race of brain-like aliens, attempting to create a portal to our world. He has invented a mutagenic substance called Ooze which mutates anything it touches into a humanoid creature. Krang hopes to use the Ooze to mutate Earth creatures into an army powerful enough to take over our world, then repeat the process with other planets. He manages to successfully create a stable portal to Earth, and tests the Ooze out on a rat who was once a pet of a skilled martial arts trainer. The rat is mutated into Splinter, who has the martial arts training of his former owner. Splinter sabotages the portal and takes the only sample of Ooze back to Earth with him, where he uses it to mutate four baby turtles he finds in the sewers.

         Cut to about twenty years later. Splinter has trained the Turtles, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo, in martial arts, so now they act as vigilantes protecting the city from a gang called the Foot Clan. The Foot Clan is led by the Shredder, who is revealed to be the former protege of Splinter's former owner, and he desperately wants a way to increase the Foot Clan's efficiency when he learns the vigilantes who are besting him are mutated turtles. Krang, after all these years, creates another portal to Earth and more Ooze, and teams up with Shredder to defeat Splinter and the Turtles. Beebop and Rocksteady become the first test subjects of the new Ooze, and in the end the Turtles face off against Krang, Shredder, and a mutated army of Foot Clan soldiers. April O'Niel and Casey Jones will be the human POV characters, with April an aspiring news reporter following the street war between the Turtles and the Foot Clan and Casey her boyfriend who is inspired to become a vigilante by the Turtles' example. The "alien" aspect comes from the Ooze being alien in nature, but the turtles themselves are still mutants.

            That would be how I would handle a modern Turtles film, but in actuality I'm sure Bay will come up with something completely idiotic. Still, it's fun to speculate. 

Top Ten Guilty Pleasures Part 2

4) Indiana Jones 4-I'll be honest: I don't think Crystal Skull is the worst Indy film. That honor falls to Temple of Doom. I love Temple's villain and Short Round, and the final twenty minutes (mine cart chase and onwards) is top notch. But the film really doesn't hold up for me. Now, Skull is pretty weak as well, but I found it to be more in line with the Indy formula than the second one, not to mention it had Marion in place of the annoying Willy Scott. I think the reason people hate it is the aliens, but honestly the idea of the aliens didn't bother me so much as the execution. It was the '50s, so a lot of the decisions Lucas and Spielberg made were because of the setting. Russians as villains, Indy having a greaser kid, the aliens tying into the plot through psychic crystal skulls coming from El Dorado, all that was just a result of translating Indy into a Cold War environment addressing the sci-fi B movies of the time instead of '30s adventure serials. I was down with all of that. The nuked fridge scene? Yes, it was ridiculous, but that one moment where Indy's silhouette is shown against the mushroom cloud? Badass, and really visualizes how Indy is now in a different time period. The revelation that the warehouse from Raiders was Area 51, and that Indy helped excavate the Roswell crash were great plot twists that I enjoyed seeing. With that said, the villains weren't too strong, Shia Labeouf had some nice banter with Indy but wasn't all that convincing as his kid, Marion was dull, and the final act felt more like a Star Wars film instead of an Indy flick (did the aliens really have to disappear in a UFO if they were "interdimensional beings"?). So yeah, the film got out of hand towards the end, but I still found it an enjoyable enough adventure, and despite his age Harrison Ford still rocks it as the Man With the Hat. So despite its numerous flaws, I still enjoy Crystal Skull. Seriously though, it doesn't really matter if the film was good or bad. Nothing, I repeat, nothing will ever top the brilliance of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

3) Alien vs. Predator 1 & 2-These films will never compare to the brilliance of Alien, Aliens, and Predator, simply because as iconic as these monsters are, they're not as interesting unless they're up against Sigourney Weaver or Arnold Schwarzenegger. However, the first AvP film was my introduction to these creatures, and both films have many badass moments that are great action beats even if they don't hold up as films. The Predator vs. Alien Queen in the first film and Predator vs. Predalien in the second film were highlights for me, and when I see these films on TV I watch them knowing full well they're not great.

2) Spider-Man 3-I LOVE the first two Spider-Man films, as they were my introduction to not only Spider-Man's world, but the world of comics and superheroes in general. I was so hyped for SM3 I could barely contain myself when the film came out. Sandman, New Goblin, and Venom going up against Spidey? I nearly pissed myself. The first couple times I watched the film I loved it, but upon repeat viewing the flaws began to be more noticeable. Venom was underdeveloped, Sandman was a wuss, Harry's amnesia was pointless, the love drama was crap, and Emo Peter was unspeakable. But despite all of these flaws, I can't come to hate the film that capped the story arc started with 1 and 2. It's like Return of the Jedi: you know it's not as good as New Hope or Empire, but it completes the arc and you accept it despite its flaws. I love the origin sequences for Sandman and Venom, and when Spidey first puts on the black suit, it was awesome. So yes, the film is disappointing, but I still find some entertainment from it despite its weaknesses.

1) Star Wars Prequels-Most people hate this trilogy because it "raped" the legacy of the first three, but that wasn't the case with me. I grew up at a time when I could watch all six Star Wars films and appreciate all of them without looking for changes in quality. I considered myself privileged for being able to see the complete story, regardless of whether it was presented non-chronologically. As I grew older, I realized the prequels lacked the story and character moments of the originals, but even now I still can't hate them as most of the Internet has. Jar Jar is horrible, but Darth Maul is awesome. The love story is atrocious, but the Yoda/Count Dooku duel is unforgettable. Darth Vader's "NOOOOO!!" moment was embarrassing, but the Mustafar duel was the most epic lightsaber fight of the entire saga. So while the prequels have a lot of mistakes, they have just enough "wow" moments to still be considered watchable by me, and I still accept the prequels as Star Wars canon knowing full well that they will never reach the heights that the originals had.

Top Ten Guilty Pleasures Part 1

As I was contemplating how I enjoyed John Carter while audiences and critics tore it apart, it reminded me that there are a slew of movies out there that people love to hate that I, for some reason, can't come to hate completely. Films that I enjoy watching knowing full well that they at heart are bad films. They consist of the following:

10) Michael Bay's Transformers trilogy-I remember Transformers from my youth, but I never got into the franchise on account of thinking it was stupid. Then the movies came along. I have to admit, seeing the first Transformers film was a unique experience for me. Suddenly, the Transformers were cool. The robots, the mythology, everything seemed so much more interesting than what I remembered from the cartoons of my youth. Michael Bay is, for all intents and purposes, a horrible filmmaker, but I have to give the man credit for reviving a beloved '80s franchise for a new generation and making it relevant again. The films themselves amount to little more than mindless action films, and suffer from thin characters and recycled plots. Despite this, however, I can't completely hate them because they're so damn fun to watch (ok, the second film kinda stretches what is defined as entertainment, but it too has its moments of greatness). Honestly, I don't care if the film is just 2 and a half hours of Shia Labeouf and insert hot chick here running from explosions, as long as Optimus Prime is there to kick ass and take names, I'm good.

9)Van Helsing-I never got the hate for this film. I loved it when it came out, if only for the idea that Wolverine and Selene from Underworld were fighting Mr. Hyde, Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolf Man...ALL AT ONCE. It had great action, an interesting plot line I felt effectively tied all the monsters into one universe, and Hugh Jackman was as awesome as ever as Van Helsing. The production design was fantastic, and to me it just really worked as an action film. However, as the years go by I can see why people hate it. The characters really have no depth, and the film bends over backwards incorporating too many monsters into its plot. But I still like it. In a world where the modern perception of vampires and werewolves comes from Twilight, at least Van Helsing attempts to stick to the iconography that makes those monsters so memorable.

8) Ghost Rider-Ever since I first saw Spider-Man 2, I fell in love with super hero films. In the past decade there have been good comic book films and bad ones, and for me, Ghost Rider falls somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. Nic Cage sucked as Johnny Blaze, for sure. The Rider himself had no character. And the villains were horrible. But, I can't completely hate it. Peter Fonda and Sam Elliot gave off great performances, and Eva Mendes was incredibly hot as the love interest. And the scene where Sam Elliot becomes the Western Rider and he and Cage's Rider ride off into the desert together? Bad ass. So by all means, Ghost Rider was a terrible film, but I enjoy it for its unique visuals.

7) Tron Legacy-Same deal with this film as Ghost Rider. I remember seeing the first Tron as a kid and enjoying it for its visuals and the idea of being inside a computer. I never dreamed I would see a sequel in my lifetime. I was hyped beyond hyped when I learned about it, and in hindsight thought that the first Tron was ahead of his time for focusing on computers now that our whole society is based on them. The sequel had much more potential to tell a great story knowing that we depend so much on computers nowadays. What the film ended up as was a visual-audio experience that I would never forget. The film updated the Tron experience for the 21st Century, and I especially loved Legacy's amazing light cycle race. And the Daft Punk score/cameo? Breathtaking. Really sold the digital side of the film. But, while I can't fault the film for its assault on the senses, the story really wasn't that groundbreaking. Looking back, I realize now Tron was never meant to tell a good story so much as showcase what filmmakers can do with computers. In that sense, Legacy was brilliant, but I still consider it a guilty pleasure because there is nothing to the film besides what it looks and sounds like.

6) Pirates of the Caribbean 2, 3, & 4-The first Pirates film was awesome. Jack Sparrow, Will, Elizabeth, Barbossa, the skeleton pirates, everything clicked. The sequels were obviously a step down from the first, and while they fail in various degrees, I still find something to enjoy in each film. I love the Empire Strikes Back tone and cliffhanger of Dead Man's Chest, and for that reason rate it the second best of the series, even though there were parts that could have been taken out (The Cannibal island, for instance). While I thought it was great set up, the payoff in World's End was somewhat lacking. It started good, and ended good with the final battle and the tragic resolution to Will and Elizabeth's story, but the middle part dragged with too many plotlines, so I rate it the worst of the four even though I do enjoy watching it. On Stranger Tides felt unnecessary, but I excepted it when I heard about it because of the Fountain of Youth subplot which was unresolved at the end of World's End. I loved the mermaids, the mythology of the Fountain, and the character arc they gave Barbossa, but I found the new characters boring and the whole film to lack a sense of danger. However, the attempts to streamline the series after World's End put it a step above that bloated film, but I still find it lacking compared to the first two. So while I obviously have problems with each sequel, I still enjoy watching them despite their flaws, if only to watch Captain Jack Sparrow being awesome.

5) Batman Forever- I love the Christopher Nolan Batman films, and tend to think of the earlier films as "test runs" to see what would work and what didn't in the Batman franchise. The first Tim Burton film was the best, obviously, but even that had flaws, such as putting the Joker as the main character and making Batman an afterthought. Come to think of it, all the films pretty much handle Batman as second fiddle to the celebrity villain of the week. Despite this, I like Batman Forever, the first Schumacher flick, for two reasons: the film's origin of Robin, and Jim Carrey as the Riddler. Now maybe I'm biased because I think Carrey is hilarious, but I adore his Riddler. I just think it works so well. He was batshit insane, but cold and calculating enough to think of himself as more intelligent than Batman and willing to do whatever it took to prove it. Hated Tommy Lee Jones' Two Face, but Carrey's Riddler made up for it. As for Robin, I knew next to nothing about the character's origin from the comics, and this film provided a great introduction to who he was and how he came to be, not to mention his prescence gave Batman himself more of a character arc concerning his identity. So, it's not a "good" movie, but I enjoy it for its outlandish characters and the overall story. With that said, Batman and Robin is unforgiveable.