Here's a funny story about the future: it tends to catch up with you when you least expect it. You take what you think is a short sabbatical from blogging to focus on schoolwork, then before you know it a whole semester's over. Then when the new year rolls around, it's the year you've literally been associating with "the future" since you were ten. So here we are in 2015, and still no hoverboards. Or Jaws 19. But we do get Jurassic Park 4, Bond 24, Terminator 5, Avengers 2, Mad Max 4, Hunger Games
4, and Star Wars 7 as consolation prizes.
Yes, it seems 2015 is another big year for franchise sequels. Probably the biggest I've seen since 2007 and 2012. But how can I "ring in the new" without celebrating the old? 2014 was, as it is every year, a mixed bag of movies. I think the announcements for future films excited me more than the films we ultimately got. Be that as it may, I must rank every 2014 film release that I had time to see, from worst to best. Because I'm an obsessive movie blogger and it's what I do. Shall we begin?
Numbers 22-18: The Worst
22. Transformers: Age of Extinction- This film was, without a doubt, the worst film I've seen in theaters in the past year. Possibly the worst I've seen in quite a long time. While the first three films (at least 1 and 3) satisfied my primal urge for awesome robot fights, this film was just overkill. Optimus Prime is now the Punisher, Galvatron's a wimp, the new humans are non-entities, and the Dinobots are butchered beyond belief. Not to mention the nearly three hour run time really tested my patience. As long as Bay's at the helm, this franchise will continue to sink to new lows.
is now the Punisher, Galvatron's a wimp, the new humans are non-entities, and the Dinobots are butchered beyond belief. Not to mention the nearly three hour run time really tested my patience. As long as Bay's at the helm, this franchise will continue to sink to new lows.
21. Transcendence- Talk about dissapointment. Directed by the cinematographer behind Inception and The Dark Knight. Starring Johnny Depp, Paul Bettany, and Morgan Freeman. With a story about a dying man's mind being uploaded to a computer. All this potential, completely wasted on a weak script with poorly written characters and over-the-top ideas. So much for original sci-fi.
. All this potential, completely wasted on a weak script with poorly written characters and over-the-top ideas. So much for original sci-fi.
20. Maleficient- Speaking of dissapointments, how do you take one of the most iconic villains in the Disney canon and completely butcher her? With Angelina Jolie playing her, no less? Trying to make classic Sleeping Beauty villain Maleficient sympathetic, I can get behind. Making her Aurora's surrogate mother??? Inexcusible. The Wicked route could work for a number of fairy tale villains, but for this dark sorceress, it was a resounding failure. Despite Jolie's performance, the film was a textbook example of how NOT to remake a classic.
??? Inexcusible. The Wicked route could work for a number of fairy tale villains, but for this dark sorceress, it was a resounding failure. Despite Jolie's performance, the film was a textbook example of how NOT to remake a classic.
19. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- What a mixed bag this turned out to be. I'll admit, this wasn't the worst of the TMNT films (Looking at you, Turtles in Time). But that's no excuse for further damaging this iconic '80s franchise. Yes, the Turtles' personalities were actually perfect. And I'll admit, making them April O'Neal's childhood pets wasn't entirely stupid (just mostly). Also, Megan Fox didn't completely screw up the role. BUT, the Shredder's a human can opener, the Turtles' designs were way too weird, and the entire tone just reeked of Bay. Not even Kraang, Bebop or Rocksteady could salvage this reboot.
a human can opener, the Turtles' designs were way too weird, and the entire tone just reeked of Bay. Not even Kraang, Bebop or Rocksteady could salvage this reboot.
18. The Interview- First off, I want to thank this movie. It's mere existence got North Korea so pissed off they leaked all of Sony's emails over the Internet. I knew Hollywood was screwed up, but man, did Sony drop the ball. But despite all the controversy, The Interview was ultimately a run-of-the-mill political comedy that doesn't back its intriguing ideas. Rogen and Franco were fine, as was our Kim Jong Un. But the predictable, immature laughs didn't make this at all memorable. If anything, the uproar from North Korea and resultant Sony Hacks will be remembered more than the film itself.
Numbers 17-11: The Decent
17. The Amazing Spider-Man 2- Ah, the other film at the center of the Sony Hacks. I so wanted this film to be good. And to an extent, I still got some entertainment from it. The action was decent, and Garfield, Stone, and Dehaan gave great performances. But just like Spider-Man 3, the film was derailed by too many plots and villains. I'd like to say this was a surprise, but really, it wasn't too shocking (see what I did there?)
, but really, it wasn't too shocking (see what I did there?)
16. Lone Survivor- This film didn't at all interest me, but after seeing it with some friends, I was surprised at how impactful it was. And how painful. Every bruise and scrape from Mark Walhberg and his men was felt. The film was a gritty, intense action thriller, but ultimately wasn't memorable enough to rank with some of the best war films out there.
15. Into the Woods- Wow this film was over the top. It's a broadway musical fairy tale in both the best and worst possible way, with catchy songs, cheesy acting, and too much happening at once. With that said, it was pretty enjoyable. Meryl Streep and Emily Blunt were standouts, Johnny Depp's wasted on a downright creepy performance, and Chris Pine was hilariously bad. It's not a revelation in terms of musicals, but as decent entertainment with a great soundtrack, it'll do.
14. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part One- By all accounts, this film should be higher on my list. The film maintained the momentum from Catching Fire and continued to develop the unique world of Panem. J-Law was brilliant as always, while Julianne Moore and Natalie Dormer shined as newcomers President Coin and Cressida, respectively. So why is this film so low on the list? That pesky "Part One" in the title. This simply felt more like half a story, consisting entirely of set-up with no real climax or payoff. This may be the current trend in Hollywood, but for Mockingjay, one tight three hour film would have sufficed.
: Mockingjay Part One- By all accounts, this film should be higher on my list. The film maintained the momentum from Catching Fire and continued to develop the unique world of Panem. J-Law was brilliant as always, while Julianne Moore and Natalie Dormer shined as newcomers President Coin and Cressida, respectively. So why is this film so low on the list? That pesky "Part One" in the title. This simply felt more like half a story, consisting entirely of set-up with no real climax or payoff. This may be the current trend in Hollywood, but for Mockingjay, one tight three hour film would have sufficed.
13. The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies- For similar reasons, this was an average film that suffered from only telling part of a story. Initially I thought this was my favorite of the Hobbit trilogy, but in hindsight it was probably the weakest. The action was phenomenal, as befitting a Peter Jackson trilogy capper. Seeing the White Council banish Sauron was definitely a fan pleaser. And Bilbo and Thorin's relationsip was by far the strongest element. But ultimately, this film confirmed my suspicions that Tolkien's slim novel can't make for an effective trilogy. Too much filler and too many characters doomed the narrative. When the Extended Edition comes out I'll do a review of the entire trilogy, but until then, this was a bittersweet farewell to Jackson's Middle-Earth Saga.
12. Big Hero 6- Here was a film that, while perfectly charming and vastly entertaining, could have been so much more. When I heard Disney Animation, fresh off of Frozen, was making a film using Marvel characters, I smelled potential. But instead of applying the same postmodern take that Frozen did for fairy tales, or Wreck-It Ralph did for video games, Big Hero 6 was content just to be an average superhero film for kids. The relationship between Hiro and Baymax saved it, since it was the one unique thing this film had, but everything else was the cliche superhero origin story. Still, as an animated film, it's harmless and cute, not to mention gorgeous to look at. I just wanted something a little more original.
11. Snowpiercer- Damn was this movie impressive. Chris "Captain America" Evans as a revolutionary on a post-apocalyptic train? This had no right to be as good as it did. A near perfect mix of action, sci-fi, and philosophy, Snowpiercer was definitely worth a watch.
10. 22 Jump Street- How do you follow up a comedy reboot that no one expected to be good yet everyone loved? Make fun of the very concept of comedy sequels, that's how. The meta jokes were brilliant, especially the proposals for a Jump Street franchise during the credits. Gut busting humor and the chemistry between Tatum and Hill skyrocketed this film, making it, in this humble blogger's opinion, just as good as the original. For a comedy sequel, that's a rare feat.
9. Interstellar- There's always a pedigree with Chris Nolan, especially since his last original sci-fi was Inception. While this was as intellectual as any of his prior flicks, Nolan tried to break new ground here by wrapping his quantum physics heavy space epic in the tale of a father and his daughter. Matthew McCounaughey and Jessica Chastain were great with the material they were given, but despite Nolan's best efforts, the whole affair wasn't as emotional as he probably intended.
Nolan excels with big ideas, and this might be his biggest cache of ideas yet, what with wormwholes, relativity, and time travel all huge elements. As a sci-fi fan, it was great to see these concepts brought to life with both awe and realism. But given Nolan's ultimate intentions, it struck me just how emotionally distant it ended up being. Still, the amount of ambition puts this easily in my top ten, not to mention the breathtaking visuals (especially in IMAX). Objectively, I'd say this is Nolan's worst film. But it's telling that despite all that, this is still one of the best films I've seen this year.
8. Godzilla- When I went to see this film for the third time (yes, really), I chose a drive-in movie theater for the viewing. There's a certain nostalgia, not to mention irony, in seeing a giant monster movie at a drive-in. And make no mistake; as a giant monster movie, this new Godzilla succeeded wildly. I don't care if the Big Z wasn't in it all that much. There's a great Jaws/Jurassic Park vibe going on with the way they treated the monsters. When the big lizard finally confronts his two monstrous foes in San Francisco, it's the stuff fanboy dreams are made of.
What stopped this from being a perfect film was that the time in between the monster fights was taken by completely bland human characters. Why cast Ken Watanabe and Bryan Cranston, only to make the focus a wooden soldier played by Kick-Ass? While the monsters made this movie, the humans still needed work. It didn't affect me too much, though. I was just happy to see the true King of the Monsters back in all his glory.
7. Edge of Tomorrow- This film came out of nowhere to be one of the best sci-fi/action hybrids I've seen in a while. Tom Cruise delivered a great performance, but the real star was Emily Blunt. If any movie proved her action star potential, it was this. The time loop element was superbly executed, while the designs for the aliens were some of the most original I've seen in years. Most of all, the film was thrilling, enjoyable, and damn good fun.
6. How to Train Your Dragon 2- THIS is how you make a great sequel. Take the characters and themes of the first film, and build off them in an organic way. From the action and animation to the story and emotion, this film was simply fantastic. Bring on Dragon 3.
5. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes- While we're on the subject of great sequels, Dawn was simply a phenomenal follow-up to Rise of the Apes. Mo-cap master Andy Serkis made Ceasar entirely human, and his new role as ape leader bordered on Shakespearean tragedy at times. Surprisingly enough, Ceasar was not the real star here. Toby Kebbel's Koba easily stole the show, challenging Ceasar's authority and growing increasingly violent throughout the film. I was going bannanas (super lame pun intended) after seeing this film, and I sincerely hope the franchise maintains this level of quality in the future.
4. X-Men: Days of Future Past- Thank you Bryan Singer, from the bottom of my heart. While First Class and The Wolverine began redeeming the X-franchise, DOFP brought its true redemption. The masterful time travel premise not only rebooted the series, but allowed for young Xavier, Magneto, and Mystique to grow as characters. The action was fantastic (future Sentinels! Quicksilver's kitchen scene!), the characters were great, and the overall film was an X-cellent addition to the franchise. X-Men: Apocalypse can't come soon enough.
3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier- From the minute I read the "Winter Soldier" comics arc, I knew this would make a kick-ass film. My faith was well rewarded. The Winter Soldier was a superb spy thriller, a throwback to the political films of the '70s, while still delivering all the superhero action expected of a Marvel flick. Chris Evans IS Captain America, and this film proved it. Easily the best plotted Marvel film since the first Iron Man, this flick made it abundantly clear that Captain America is one of the best heroes in Marvel's arsenal.
2. Guardians of the Galaxy- It's hard to believe that Marvel topped themselves twice in the same year, and yet they did. While Guardians may have a somewhat derivative story compared to Winter Soldier, I ultimately found it better for its sheer entertainment value. If you don't walk away from Guardians smiling at the '70s pop tunes, laughing at the characters, or enjoying the pulpy retro space opera tone, then you might be dead inside.
1. The Lego Movie- I was internally debating whether this or Guardians should be number one, but then I remembered Chris Pratt is the lead in both and decided it didn't really matter. Both are outrageously funny. Both subvert a lot of recent Hollywood movie tropes. And both were thought to be enormous risks before proving everyone wrong. Ultimately though, I gave the spot to Lego for its masterful use of nostalgia. Not just in tugging on my heartstrings, but using it in-universe to show the central conflict between normality and creativity. It was funny, it was emotional, it was meta, and it was just so. well. done. Here is definitive proof that animation can be just as groundbreaking as any live action film. There's nothing I can complain about regarding this movie. To put it simply, Everything is Awesome!
You may notice a severe lack of any "Oscar bait" films on this list. No Babadook, Birdman, Boyhood, Foxcatcher, or Theory of Everything. I made the grave mistake of not paying attention to these films last year, when Frozen, Her, and The Wolf of Wall Street all escaped my initial grasp. While I'd love to review any and all of these films, we're already ten days into 2015 and I am very behind schedule in terms of blogging. These are the films released last year that I saw, ranked according to my tastes.
Many of these films defied my expectations, either being better or worse than I anticipated. With the new year bringing sequels to some of my favorite films, my expectations will only get higher. But if movies about Legos and talking raccoons can top my list this year, I can only imagine what will top the list next year. So now that I've sent 2014 off in (long belated) style, it's time to fire up the Flux Capacitor and look to the future. Where we're going, we don't need roads.
, this was an average film that suffered from only telling part of a story. Initially I thought this was my favorite of the Hobbit trilogy, but in hindsight it was probably the weakest. The action was phenomenal, as befitting a Peter Jackson trilogy capper. Seeing the White Council banish Sauron was definitely a fan pleaser. And Bilbo and Thorin's relationsip was by far the strongest element. But ultimately, this film confirmed my suspicions that Tolkien's slim novel can't make for an effective trilogy. Too much filler and too many characters doomed the narrative. When the Extended Edition comes out I'll do a review of the entire trilogy, but until then, this was a bittersweet farewell to Jackson's Middle-Earth Saga.
Numbers 12-6: The Really Good
12. Big Hero 6- Here was a film that, while perfectly charming and vastly entertaining, could have been so much more. When I heard Disney Animation, fresh off of Frozen, was making a film using Marvel characters, I smelled potential. But instead of applying the same postmodern take that Frozen did for fairy tales, or Wreck-It Ralph did for video games, Big Hero 6 was content just to be an average superhero film for kids. The relationship between Hiro and Baymax saved it, since it was the one unique thing this film had, but everything else was the cliche superhero origin story. Still, as an animated film, it's harmless and cute, not to mention gorgeous to look at. I just wanted something a little more original.
11. Snowpiercer- Damn was this movie impressive. Chris "Captain America" Evans as a revolutionary on a post-apocalyptic train? This had no right to be as good as it did. A near perfect mix of action, sci-fi, and philosophy, Snowpiercer was definitely worth a watch.
10. 22 Jump Street- How do you follow up a comedy reboot that no one expected to be good yet everyone loved? Make fun of the very concept of comedy sequels, that's how. The meta jokes were brilliant, especially the proposals for a Jump Street franchise during the credits. Gut busting humor and the chemistry between Tatum and Hill skyrocketed this film, making it, in this humble blogger's opinion, just as good as the original. For a comedy sequel, that's a rare feat.
9. Interstellar- There's always a pedigree with Chris Nolan, especially since his last original sci-fi was Inception. While this was as intellectual as any of his prior flicks, Nolan tried to break new ground here by wrapping his quantum physics heavy space epic in the tale of a father and his daughter. Matthew McCounaughey and Jessica Chastain were great with the material they were given, but despite Nolan's best efforts, the whole affair wasn't as emotional as he probably intended.
Nolan excels with big ideas, and this might be his biggest cache of ideas yet, what with wormwholes, relativity, and time travel all huge elements. As a sci-fi fan, it was great to see these concepts brought to life with both awe and realism. But given Nolan's ultimate intentions, it struck me just how emotionally distant it ended up being. Still, the amount of ambition puts this easily in my top ten, not to mention the breathtaking visuals (especially in IMAX). Objectively, I'd say this is Nolan's worst film. But it's telling that despite all that, this is still one of the best films I've seen this year.
8. Godzilla- When I went to see this film for the third time (yes, really), I chose a drive-in movie theater for the viewing. There's a certain nostalgia, not to mention irony, in seeing a giant monster movie at a drive-in. And make no mistake; as a giant monster movie, this new Godzilla succeeded wildly. I don't care if the Big Z wasn't in it all that much. There's a great Jaws/Jurassic Park vibe going on with the way they treated the monsters. When the big lizard finally confronts his two monstrous foes in San Francisco, it's the stuff fanboy dreams are made of.
What stopped this from being a perfect film was that the time in between the monster fights was taken by completely bland human characters. Why cast Ken Watanabe and Bryan Cranston, only to make the focus a wooden soldier played by Kick-Ass? While the monsters made this movie, the humans still needed work. It didn't affect me too much, though. I was just happy to see the true King of the Monsters back in all his glory.
7. Edge of Tomorrow- This film came out of nowhere to be one of the best sci-fi/action hybrids I've seen in a while. Tom Cruise delivered a great performance, but the real star was Emily Blunt. If any movie proved her action star potential, it was this. The time loop element was superbly executed, while the designs for the aliens were some of the most original I've seen in years. Most of all, the film was thrilling, enjoyable, and damn good fun.
6. How to Train Your Dragon 2- THIS is how you make a great sequel. Take the characters and themes of the first film, and build off them in an organic way. From the action and animation to the story and emotion, this film was simply fantastic. Bring on Dragon 3.
Top Five: The Awesome
5. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes- While we're on the subject of great sequels, Dawn was simply a phenomenal follow-up to Rise of the Apes. Mo-cap master Andy Serkis made Ceasar entirely human, and his new role as ape leader bordered on Shakespearean tragedy at times. Surprisingly enough, Ceasar was not the real star here. Toby Kebbel's Koba easily stole the show, challenging Ceasar's authority and growing increasingly violent throughout the film. I was going bannanas (super lame pun intended) after seeing this film, and I sincerely hope the franchise maintains this level of quality in the future.
4. X-Men: Days of Future Past- Thank you Bryan Singer, from the bottom of my heart. While First Class and The Wolverine began redeeming the X-franchise, DOFP brought its true redemption. The masterful time travel premise not only rebooted the series, but allowed for young Xavier, Magneto, and Mystique to grow as characters. The action was fantastic (future Sentinels! Quicksilver's kitchen scene!), the characters were great, and the overall film was an X-cellent addition to the franchise. X-Men: Apocalypse can't come soon enough.
3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier- From the minute I read the "Winter Soldier" comics arc, I knew this would make a kick-ass film. My faith was well rewarded. The Winter Soldier was a superb spy thriller, a throwback to the political films of the '70s, while still delivering all the superhero action expected of a Marvel flick. Chris Evans IS Captain America, and this film proved it. Easily the best plotted Marvel film since the first Iron Man, this flick made it abundantly clear that Captain America is one of the best heroes in Marvel's arsenal.
2. Guardians of the Galaxy- It's hard to believe that Marvel topped themselves twice in the same year, and yet they did. While Guardians may have a somewhat derivative story compared to Winter Soldier, I ultimately found it better for its sheer entertainment value. If you don't walk away from Guardians smiling at the '70s pop tunes, laughing at the characters, or enjoying the pulpy retro space opera tone, then you might be dead inside.
1. The Lego Movie- I was internally debating whether this or Guardians should be number one, but then I remembered Chris Pratt is the lead in both and decided it didn't really matter. Both are outrageously funny. Both subvert a lot of recent Hollywood movie tropes. And both were thought to be enormous risks before proving everyone wrong. Ultimately though, I gave the spot to Lego for its masterful use of nostalgia. Not just in tugging on my heartstrings, but using it in-universe to show the central conflict between normality and creativity. It was funny, it was emotional, it was meta, and it was just so. well. done. Here is definitive proof that animation can be just as groundbreaking as any live action film. There's nothing I can complain about regarding this movie. To put it simply, Everything is Awesome!
You may notice a severe lack of any "Oscar bait" films on this list. No Babadook, Birdman, Boyhood, Foxcatcher, or Theory of Everything. I made the grave mistake of not paying attention to these films last year, when Frozen, Her, and The Wolf of Wall Street all escaped my initial grasp. While I'd love to review any and all of these films, we're already ten days into 2015 and I am very behind schedule in terms of blogging. These are the films released last year that I saw, ranked according to my tastes.
Many of these films defied my expectations, either being better or worse than I anticipated. With the new year bringing sequels to some of my favorite films, my expectations will only get higher. But if movies about Legos and talking raccoons can top my list this year, I can only imagine what will top the list next year. So now that I've sent 2014 off in (long belated) style, it's time to fire up the Flux Capacitor and look to the future. Where we're going, we don't need roads.
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